Dear Colton

Yesterday was my son and daughter-in-law's seventh anniversary. Several years ago, on the days leading up to their wedding, I found my mind exploding with things I wanted my son to know. Or maybe it was just full of things I felt like I needed to say. Most likely, it was a head-on collision of the two. But had I opened my mouth to share it, nonsensical drivel wrapped in tears would have landed in his lap. So I wrote him a letter instead. 

This is it.

Colton,  

From the moment you were born, your eyes danced.  Whether you were watching a dog run toward you or waiting to catch a ball or listening to Granny sing ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’, your blue eyes went to a place nobody’s invented a word for yet.  You’ve always had more “all in” than anyone I know.

I know you know this, but you have chosen well.  Some people just compliment other people naturally—they intensify the best of each other.  And that’s what you’ve found in Mo.  Make sure you are intentional about being that for her, too. We all soar highest when we see the best of ourselves in another’s eyes.

And while I’m at it, pick her up at the airport.  Always, if you can.  She’ll say you don’t need to, and you won’t, because she is more than capable of taking care of herself.  But that’s not the point. Show up.  Be silly, be serious, be tired, be real, but be there.  And be on time.  Always.  Because punctuality says ‘you’re more important than me’ and showing up says, well, mostly it says ‘anything is possible’. And that’s what every woman wants to believe.

Another thing, send her flowers.  Don’t send them on occasions (well you can if you want—they pretty much make everything that’s good better), send them on boring days, for random reasons.  And always sign the card.  That goes in the file with leaving her notes, and always saying “I love you” and never assuming that she knows she’s the most beautiful girl in the room.  Those random deposits pick the sticks out of the path.  Roads are rough enough without unnecessary obstacles.

Finally, grow with her.  You’re not a finished product, and don’t let her be either.  Challenge her.  Push her.  Nudge her up and out and onward.   Emerson once said, “Man’s chief want in life is someone who will make him do what he can.” We sometimes think he was talking about teachers and coaches and bosses and parents.  But he meant spouses, too.  Love that comes from the center of your bones is not afraid of growth.  As a matter of fact, it is fueled by it. There is so much out there that’s marvelous.  You can never know it all or do it all, but chasing it together should be the stuff of legend.

You are on the precipice of your greatest adventure yet.  And you have chosen your sidekick well.  Keep choosing her.  Every day.  And maybe most importantly, keep giving her reason to keep choosing you.  You’re going to make mistakes and some stretches are probably going to be grueling, but, love her like you mean it and let God fill in the gaps.  

Just remember, that ultimately, what she deserves every day for the rest of her life, is your dancing eyes.

Love you more than words,

Mom

P.S. Happy Anniversary to two of my favorite people on the planet.